Thursday, July 21, 2011

It's official!

As of today we officially have a signed contract with our surrogate!

Now, before I explain any further, I have to first admit that I am learning all about the IVF process as we go. So some of what I say may not be completely accurate. I am just relating things back to you how I heard and understood them.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday to try and pinpoint where I am in my cycle.  According to the ultrasound and my bloodwork, I am around day 4 or 5 of my cycle. I have to go back every week for another ultrasound and more bloodwork until it shows I am ovulating. Once that happens I will then start on a drug called Lupron. (According to Dr. Google Lupron is a man-made form of a hormone that regulates many processes in the body. Leuprolide overstimulates the body's own production of certain hormones, which causes that production to shut down temporarily. It reduces the amount of testosterone in men or estrogen in women.) From what I understand, the purpose of the Lupron is to put my body in a holding pattern. My surro will also start Lupron in a few days, to put her body on hold as well. That was we can both be in sync. Once we are in sync I will start meds to stimulate my ovaries and she will start meds to help produce a nice thick uterine lining. Dr. C has a tentative plan for us to start stims on August 20th. If I remember correctly from the very first conversation I had with Dr. C back in February, about a week after that we will be ready for a retrieval and 3 to 5 days after that, a transfer! I can't believe we are getting so close to a transfer!! I know there are still so many things that can happen between now and then. Or we could get all the way to a transfer and it not work. But it is hard not to get excited by these little milestones. Even D, aka Mr. Pessimistic, has gotten a little excited. I think he is starting to believe the we might actually get our positive outcome.

I talked with Gayla a few days ago about my fears and nerves and she said that this journey won't be smooth sailing, it never is, so expect some speed bumps. But that she will do whatever it takes to make sure those bumps do not become roadblocks.

I am just so excited to get this journey started! I think we are going to be in for quite a ride, but I know there will be a fabulous prize at the finish line.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

It's Not Just About Me

I think that through a lot of this I have been focused on me, and getting another baby. D has always said he would be content if we never have another child, but that he knows how much it means to me. And if it makes me happy, then he is happy. So I have often worried about him, and how he is handling things, if he was going to care much about our success, etc. But the this afternoon he made a comment that made me realize that yes, he is just as invested in this as I am.

D, my mom, and I had been talking about the next few steps in the process and mom said something about the 2 week wait between the transfer and taking a pregnancy test. Mom asked him what we are going to do to keep Janelle sane. And D responded with, "No, what are we going to do to keep ME sane?!?!" Funny and sweet all at the same time. I can't imagine going through this with anyone else! He is the best!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


So my fabulously awesome and quite fashionable friend Amber introduced me to thrift store shopping and I have to admit, I am addicted! K have 2 places - a Thrift City and one specific Goodwill that I really like and have had great luck at.

After the Nacho was born, I stopped shopping for myself; I just didn't enjoy it anymore. I would much rather spend my money on my kid. But, I still need clothes for work, since my body shape (and size) changed after pregnancy. And since I can't wear my pink polka dot A&M pajama pants and baggy t-shirt every day, I must do some shopping for myself. Up until recently, I would be in and out of the store in seconds, buying just one or two of the cheapest things I could find before racing across the street to Kid to Kid where I would spend hours loading up on kids clothes. It's a sickness I tell ya!

Well, all that has changed thanks to Amber. I have gotten quite the wardrobe now, and all for less than $100! I am so excited. Today I hit up the GW and got 4 jackets, 3 dresses, 2 skirts, 2 shirts, and one big, floppy, stuffed dog for my reading corner for $50. And almost everything was name brand. A few things were brand new with tags still on. I am thrilled! A few weeks ago we went to TC and had just as good of luck. Now I need to go through my closet and start seeing what all I have, start putting outfits together, and then seeing what I still need so I can make one more trip before school starts. As soon as I get a chance I will take some pictures of some of my favorite finds and post them. I love sharing a bargain!

I did realize though, that I have lots of skirts and dresses, so I need to stock up on tattoo covering bandaids.

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Friday, July 8, 2011

Moving Right Along

I heard from Gayla yesterday and L has met with Dr. Chantilis twice now. The first time was for a basic consultation and then yesterday was for a more indepth exam. And both appointments have gone very well. L is in great health, and we found out yesterday her uterus looks great. The only minor thing is that her thyroid level was slightly elevated (they like it to be around 2.0 and her's was 2.6.) Gayla did say they Dr. C put L on some medicine to bring that level down, but he is not concerned by it, and neither is Gayla, so I won't be either.

Dr. C has also started L on a mock cycle. From what I understand, this is to see how her body and uterus respond to the meds. What should hopefully happen is her uterus creates a nice, thick, healthy lining. And if it does, we will then start getting our cycles synced. Scary and exciting all at the same time! I can't believe it's all really starting to happen!! I know there will be bumps in the road, but hopefully it isn't anything that will completely knock us off our path. After all the ups and downs I have been though these past 23 months, I don't think I can emotionally take much more.

Speaking of contract, we got the first draft yesterday for us to start looking over. Once Dave and I are comfortable with it, it will be sent to L to look over. And once everyone is comfortable with it, we will sign and it will all be official!

Friday, July 1, 2011


Will there ever be a time that I am not crazy jealous of a pregnant woman, or a woman that as the ability to get pregnant, or give birth?

I am a teacher, so I work with mostly women. Women that get pregnant and have babies. It is so hard to smile, and be happy for them when I am crying inside. Don't get me wrong, I really am happy for them, but also sad/angry for myself. There were several pregnancies this past school year that I had to endure, two of which have already delivered. One of the two didn't bother me too much. She delivered in the spring, so she was out on maternity leave for a good chunk of the school year. So for her it was kind of like she was there one day, then gone the next. She has brought her daughter up to school to show her off (like every new mom should!) and as everyone else is stopping to "ooh" and "ahh" and hold and snuggle that sweet baby, I had to just run right by and go back to my room. I am sure it makes me look like some horrible kind of person, but it is either that or I stand there crying and jealous.

The other pregnancy was harder to endure. She was not due until the end of June, so I had to watch her growing stomach every day. Watch people come up to her and talk about her pregnancy, how shes feeling, asking to touch her belly, etc. We passed each other in the hall all the time. Her pregnancy (and my lack of) was in my face every single day. She had her baby almost 2 weeks ago, and emailed pictures to everyone. I was only able to quickly look before I deleted them. I am happy for her, and her baby is gorgeous, but , seeing that picture of her, holding her baby, in a hospital bed, with that post-delivery glow, (a picture I never got with the Nacho, and will definitely never get with any future children) I starting feeling the anger and jealousy well up in me.

I have a very close friend/coworker that is currently pregnant and due in January. I am worried about how I will handle it when school starts back up. I love S dearly, and I am so excited for her.  I hope I can keep my jealousy in check, and can just show her genuine enthuasim and excitement. But I also hope the she (and anyone else I know that ends up pregnant) understands when I seem less than enthused about something to do with their pregnancy/delivery/newborn.

I keep hoping that once my family is complete I will no longer care about the fact that I cannot ever be pregnant again, or that I will not be the person that labors and delivery my child. I will never be able to tell my child "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!" Will all of that cease to matter when I am finally holding my baby in my arms? I hope so!