You always want what you can't have.
I always want warm weather when its cold and cold weather when its warm, Chick-Fil-A on Sundays, and Matthew McConaughey. The same holds true for another baby. Before I was pregnant, and all during my pregnancy, back when I thought you could plan for these kind of things, I had my whole family timeline mapped out in my head. I wanted 3 biological children and then maybe one adopted, or else to foster. And I wanted about 3 years between each one because I thought that was the perfect age gap.
So, before I lost my babymaking abilities I figured we wouldn't even start trying for our second until the Nacho was 2. Right now she is only 15 months, not anywhere close to being two. So why do I have such a huge desire for number 2 RIGHT NOW? If I still had the ability to get pregnant on my own would I feel so anxious about it? Probably not. I guess maybe because I don't know if it will ever happen. I just keep telling myself that one day it won't matter. One day my family will be complete. I have to be positive about that.