Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Goodbye Grandmother.

My dad's mom, my grandmother, my last living grandparent, passed away this morning. We knew it was coming, and I have such a weird mix of emotions right now. She has been sick and getting worse with each passing day, so it was time, and it came as a relief. But I am also sad for us, it's always hard to lose a loved one, no matter how expected it is. My dad says she is now at peace and happy because she has been reunited with her husband, her son Mike, and my brother. Farewell Grandmother Nopo. You were loved dearly and will be missed. See you again one day!

This picture is from the Nacho's baptism. Poor baby had an ear infection and was miserable. We went straight from the baptism to  the after house clinic. I have a picture of grandmother hold the Nacho somewhere, but I can't find it. It is probably on my other computer. So this will have to do.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Christmas Card Photo Shoot

In order to try and get a few more possible Christmas card pictures, we staged a photo shoot at home tonight with the Christmas tree. It again, just confirms that I am a lousy photographer.

We also took some pictures when we went up to Grandpa Joe and Grandma Ruths yesterday.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Santa Pictures

This year we went to the Bass Pro shop to get Santa pictures take because you get one free one there. And I like free! Plus, the whole store is decorated so festively, so there are lots of places for photo ops. I took lots of pictures in hopes of getting something to use for a Christmas card. But what I have discovered is I am a terrible photographer. I definitely need to take a class or two. Luckily I have a cute kid and we will make something work out of this bunch.

I worried Mackinley would be scared and cry with Santa. At Halloween time she started showing lots of fears about things, and it hasn't gotten any better. She was scared of Halloween decorations, the scarecrow in the yard for fall, the gnome in Grammy's garden, mommy's stuffed Santa by the fireplace, so I figured the real Santa would be just as scary. But instead she did great. We have decided she can tell a difference between a fake statue and something that is alive. Reid-o just slept the whole time.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's True What They Say

You always want what you can't have.

I always want warm weather when its cold and cold weather when its warm, Chick-Fil-A on Sundays, and Matthew McConaughey. The same holds true for another baby. Before I was pregnant, and all during my pregnancy, back when I thought you could plan for these kind of things, I had my whole family timeline mapped out in my head. I wanted 3 biological children and then maybe one adopted, or else to foster. And I wanted about 3 years between each one because I thought that was the perfect age gap.

So, before I lost my babymaking abilities I figured we wouldn't even start trying for our second until the Nacho was 2. Right now she is only 15 months,  not anywhere close to being two. So why do I have such a huge desire for number 2 RIGHT NOW? If I still had the ability to get pregnant on my own would I feel so anxious about it? Probably not. I guess maybe because I don't know if it will ever happen. I just keep telling myself that one day it won't matter. One day my family will be complete. I have to be positive about that.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Nephew #2 is Here!

My brother and his wife had their baby tonight (this morning???) and thankfully it was a perfectly normal (and quite boring) labor and delivery. It was kind of weird, I haven't experienced that before, so I didn't know what to do or what to expect. I am not used to getting to L&D, waiting, congratulating, smiling, picture taking, and then going home and sleeping. But that's what I did this time around! It was so nice. But, even 15 months later, it is kind of hard to watch someone else have a normal delivery. I have to work very hard not to be jealous. I wonder how long it will take for me to get over what happened to me. Ok, it is late, and I have been at the hospital since 5 this afternoon, so I am exhausted. But first, all the important info. My nephew was born at 12:26 AM (after 2 1/2 hours of pushing) and weighed 7 lbs 13 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. He has a cute nose, big eyes, and light hair. Handsome boy!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Positive

I posted this on Reid's page last night, but decided I wanted to post it here as well.

My mom has always said I wear rose colored glasses. I always try to see the positive in things because I feel like there is already enough negative in the world, why add to it. But lately I have been having a hard time seeing the positive.

Let’s take a look back shall we:
Several years ago my cousin Haydee was born, way too early. She spent several weeks in the NICU before coming home.

The daughter of our friend Kristina was diagnosed with Stage 2b Neuroblastoma Cancer when she was only 8 weeks old. Then, this past summer they found out that a mass that was removed from her kidney was indeed cancer.

Last year, after my smooth delivery of Mackinley I nearly bled out in the delivery room due to placenta accreta and was rushed to the operating room where I had an emergency hysterectomy. My dreams of having a big family were shattered.

My friend and coworker Terri’s nephew Tucker was born with an undiagnosed heart condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. He has had 2 heart surgeries since he was born, and will have to undergo one more in the near future.

In October of last year Haydee became a big sister to Mia. Luckily Mia “baked’ a little longer than Haydee but was still born too soon, at 30 week and spent several weeks in the NICU.

In January my friend Tammy’s niece, Bailey, was in a riding accident and suffered a major head injury.
My friend and coworker Annabelle welcomed her granddaughter Taylor into the world, but like my cousins Haydee and Mia she was born too soon. She ended up in the NICU suffering through intestinal problems (I am assuming NEC) and from what I understand things did not look good for a while.

Another friend and coworker Cathy, welcomed her newest granddaughter a few weeks before Reid was born. But she was born with a heart condition and had to have surgery soon after being born.
And then there is Reid. We all know his scary story.

I have spent the last few years thinking that we have the worst luck ever, and that life is just so unfair. How come it is all my family and friends that have to suffer??

But I have decided, enough of the negativity, lets look at the positive!

Haydee is now a very happy, healthy, and smart kindergartner. She might be tiny, a little pixie, but that’s the only indication she was a preemie. She is probably one of the brightest kids I know. And she is so sweet and kind hearted. Her mom just had a parent-teacher conference the other day and found out Haydee is reading at the level of someone who has been in kinder for 9 months. And she has great behavior, has yet to come home with anything but a green smiley face! She is such a great role model for her little sister Mia, for Mackinley and for all her other cousins.

Speaking of Mia, she is also happy, healthy, and thriving. She turns 1 in a few days and like her big sister, she breezed through her time in the NICU and hasn’t looked back since.

Kristina’s daughter Reese just had all her scans in September come back clear!!! Plus the genetic tests came back and it doesn’t appear there is any genetic cause for her 2 different types of cancer. And even better than that, she is going to be a big sister! I am so excited for them I could wet my pants!
As for me, I am here, I am alive! I am able to enjoy my beautiful daughter and my handsome nephew. I can walk and talk and eat and play and laugh and love. And maybe one day I will be able to help out a couple that has an unplanned pregnancy. Just because I can’t get pregnant doesn’t mean my dream for a large family has to die.

Terri’s nephew Tucker is also doing well. He is one-year old and from the pictures I have seen he looks like he is a happy, healthy toddler. Bailey has recovered from her accident and is riding horses again! Annabelle’s granddaughter Taylor is also doing well. I saw a picture of her the other day and she is going to be the cutest trick-or-treating bunny in the neighborhood on Halloween night. Cathy’s granddaughter is also doing well and is making Cathy one proud grandma! (Cathy and her family were also some of Reids biggest prayer warriors!)

And, just like we all know Reid’s traumatic story, we all also know about his happy ending. Reid is doing great! Right now he is being a typical newborn and his parents are going through the typical new parent sleepless stages. Reid is so sweet and he loves being held and cuddled, which of course we have no problems doing. He is eating like a champ and is starting to have more awake periods. Plus, I swear I have seen a smile in some of the more recent pictures I have seen of him.

So look how lucky we are! All of these stories could have had a completely different outcome. But instead we are the lucky ones that have a happy ending. I know there are a lot of families out there that don’t get the happily ever after. We have been truly blessed!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Aunt Flo

Ever since the Nacho was born and I had my hysterectomy I never felt like I had a group I fit with. I am no longer fertile because I don't have my babymaking parts. So I don't fit with that group. But am I considered infertile? I still have my ovaries and I still ovulate (and thanks to all my reading, research, and classes I know when I ovulate each month) I just have nowhere to grow the baby. So I don't feel like I fit that group either. I guess I am my own special being!

When I had my hysterectomy my doctor too my uterus but left my cervix. Which means I still get to have an annual pap smear, oh joy! I think that should have been my consolation prize; you can't ever be pregnant again, but no more pap smear either, congrats! But I digress. So I had a dream last night where, since I still had my cervix, my uterus regenerated itself. In my dream I went to the bathroom and found I was having my period. So of course I woke up and had to run and check, and of course, nothing.

On the infertility site I belong to, many of the women on there spend each month hoping and praying to NOT see Aunt Flo, because that means it is another month that they are not pregnant. I am just the opposite. I hope and pray each month that I DO see Aunt Flo. I know that it will never happen, unless I miraculously regenerate my uterus, but I still hold my breath.Yes, it is nice to not ever have to buy another tampon or panty liner, but right now I would go out and buy stock in Tampax if it meant I could get pregnant again.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Pictures of Reid

I haven't posted any pictures of Reid on his Care Page because my files are too big. So I thought I would post some updated pictures of him here. He is doing so great, and after his first regular 'ol pediatrician visit, she told my sister that she would have never known he had a rough start just by looking at him. Music to the ears! He and the Nacho finally got to meet and she is so fascinated by him. Every time he makes a noise she has to run over and investigate. She also thinks he is funny. She likes to poke him and then laughs. I'm sure Reid doesn't find it very amusing though. I am so glad they will be close in age and will get to grow up together. I see them being a pair of trouble makers in the future. I hope we are ready for it!


 I think she likes him!

 Our future Aggies!
 Peace out!

Is this not the most breathtaking picture of Reid ever?!?!?!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Nacho's Surgery

The Nacho's surgery to get tubes in her ears was this morning and everything went well. After being an OR tech for many years, that surgery didn't bother/worry me at all. That is, it didn't worry me until Reid. I knew how minor this procedure is, but she still would be going under anesthesia, and right now I have very little confidence in the human body. But, the Nacho made it though with flying colors. She was the star of the show at the surgery center. All the doctors and nurses LOVED her! And even waking up from anesthesia she was all smiles. We are home now and I finally got her down for a nap. I figured after having surgery in the morning that she would sleep for the rest of the day, but NOPE! She has been wound up all afternoon. Surgery?? What surgery???

Hopefully we start to see an improvement in her speech development. And hopefully we also have no more ear infections! I am looking forward to not stressing out every time she has a runny nose. Because let's face it, she is a toddler in group day care, she always has a runny nose.

We started the morning in a completely empty, yet gigantic, waiting room. She liked the bean bag chairs.

Then we were called back to the pre-op area, where Nacho thought she was the one in charge!

We got home and she finally got to eat. Post-surgery pancakes. YUM!

Several hours late, she finally gives in and takes a nap.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Welcome Baby Reid

I wish this was an exciting, let me announce my brand new, healthy nephew kind of post. Unfortunately, it is not. For those of you that haven't heard, my sister's first child, Reid, was born early Sunday morning and is now in the NICU fighting for his life. The last few days have been exhausting and we are all struggling to stay positive. I have started a Care Page in order to keep everyone updated on Reid, so instead of retyping the whole story here, I will just give you the link to his page. PLEASE keep Reid, my sister, and her husband in your prayers!


Thursday, September 9, 2010

Quick Update

The Nacho just got back from a visit with her Mimi and Nana in Oklahoma. She was there from Friday through Wednesday. I know she had a good time, and I am glad she got some good bonding time in with her grandmaothers, but I missed her SO much! It was almost too long a time to be away from her.  And then, thanks to the bad weather, D had a heck of a time getting up to Durant to meet his mom and get her back. What should be been a 3 hour trip turned into an almost 7 hour trip. I felt so bad for him, and wanted to fix it, but there was nothing I can do.

We have our 12 month well baby and follow up for our most recent ear infection on Monday. That's when we will get the referral to the ENT so we can get her surgery scheduled. I am ready to get these tubes so hopefully my Nacho can get healthy and stay healthy for once. I am DONE with the ear infections!

Friday, August 27, 2010

1st Birthday Party

We had the Nacho's first birthday party a few weeks ago, and I think it was a success. I feel like I was in planning mode forever, and then it was over so quickly. (Kind of like my wedding. Months and months of planning for one fast night.) But it was so worth it. And am already starting to think about her second birthday party. Thinking about the party, not the fact the she will be turning two!

The party was an owl theme and the invite said "Look Whoooooooo's Turning One". And just like with my wedding, her cake was one of the most important things for me. I lucked out because two girls I went to high school with started a cake business, and they made the perfect cake for the party. We had the party at D's brother's house because they have a pool. August in Texas requires you to be indoors or in the water. My house is too small to contain everyone inside, so A and P's house was the next best option.

The day before the Nacho's birthday (July 31th) we went and had a family dinner at Roadhouse. We were at Roadhouse the year before when my water broke. I spent that day being mad and sad about everything that happened after the Nachos birthday. I wanted to be nothing but happy on her actual birthday. I want August 1st to always be a day that has good, happy memories; a day we celebrate. The 31st can be my pissed off day, that way the 1st will always be hers.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from that day.