2nd Ultrasound

By the time our appointment this afternoon rolled around I was a nervous wreck. I have chewed my nails down to nubs! I just don't handle nerves well. Thankfully my life is usually pretty vanilla.

When Ruth started the ultrasound today I immediately saw one sac and it looked bigger, but I didn't see anything in it. Luckily, before I had a chance to freak out she moved the probe a little and then I saw one baby and a pretty little heartbeat. Whew!!!! But then I start getting nervous and wanted to know what was going on the other 2. Ruth moves the probe again and we see the second baby in that sac, also with a nice, pretty heartbeat. Both babies were measuring the exact same at 8 weeks 1 day (which is spot on) and they both had a heart rate of 174 bpm.

Unfortunately, Charlie is gone. I guess you would say the sac was smaller, or maybe the same size as last week. But the other sac was pressing on it, so it looked more like a banana, instead of nice and round like it was supposed to. Ruth said the other sac will continue to press on it and flatten it out and it will pretty much just reabsorb.

Am I sad that we have lost Charlie? Yes. Am I devastated and heartbroken? No. I was expecting this. I knew there was a really, really good chance Charlie wasn't going to make it. I know this was the best thing, it was what needed to happen. I also know that one day, once I leave this earth, I will meet my Charlie. I will give him/her a big hug and then we will get to spend eternity together. So I have that to look forward to. Plus, Baby A and Baby B now have their very own guardian angel.

Speaking of Baby A and Baby B, here they are.

A


B