Name Explaination

So some people are quite upset that we are keeping the names a secret. I mean there are people that have gotten mad and yelled at me in emails about it, it's pretty ridiculous. My favorite was from a woman that was a complete stranger (we were only friends in order to be FV neighbors) who called me stupid and selfish. Yeah, she's not on my friend list anymore. So I just want to take a second and explain why we are not sharing the names until the babies are born in hopes that people might be a little more tolerant if they understand where I am coming from.

But before I begin, I need to say that I am 1000% grateful for all the love and support and prayers we have gotten from everyone throughout this process. We would not be where we are (and still be sane) if it wasn't for everyones support. I have been hesitant to explain myself earlier because I didn't want people to think I was being ungrateful, because that couldn't be further from the truth.

When we found out we were pregnant with the Nacho, it was almost exactly 2 months until our wedding. We didn't tell anyone, I mean anyone, not even my mom. It was our little secret until the day we got home from the honeymoon. It was kind of fun to have that little thing between us, something that was just ours, for a little while. And then after we told, I still had those times with the Nacho that it was just she and I. Lying in bed at night feeling her move, or in the shower looking at my growing belly - I loved those moments when it was just she and I. I knew that soon enough I would be sharing her with the rest of the world. Plus, with the Nacho we didn't find out the gender, so we got to have a little surprise in the delivery room. (oh who am I kidding, we got more than a little surprise in the delivery room. We got "It's a girl!" followed by "It's a hysterectomy!" Good times, good times.)

This time around I don't have any of that. I haven't had a single private moment. Everyone has known what was going on from the second we started looking for a surrogate. And again, I have been so thankful for that, I needed that support, and I still do. But I also wanted something that was just ours for at least a little while. I don't get to have any quiet alone moments with the boys. I didn't get to have any moments with my husband where we just gave each other that look that said we were both in on something. We won't get a surprise in the delivery room of finding out if they are boys or girls. So if wanting to keep the names to ourselves makes me selfish, if that makes me sound ungrateful, then so be it.


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