To Circ or Not to Circ, That is the Question

Although I don’t think this subject is anyone’s business, it seems it is a very popular question asked to moms of boys. And since I am tired of repeating our reasons over and over, plus I figured it would be a good opportunity to educate people.

Before I go any further I need to make one very important statement. If you are every watching my boys, or any intact boy for that matter, do not, I repeat, DO NOT retract the foreskin! That can cause adhesions and damage and possibly future complications leading to a circumcision later in life. We will get into that a little more in a moment, just wanted to state it now, in case you don’t make it all the way through this post.

When we were pregnant with The Nacho we did not find out if the baby was a boy or a girl, but I had this gut feeling that it was a girl. I just knew it. I think that’s why it was so much easier coming up with a boy name since I had a deep down gut feeling that I wouldn’t have to use the name (which was Sawyer William, btw.) So anyway, one day my husband mentioned that if the baby was a boy he didn’t want to circumcise. My first reaction was “WHAT???? Why in the heck would we NOT circumcise? That’s just crazy talk!” But we never revisited the conversation after that. I never felt the need to do any research into the subject because again, I knew it was a girl.

Fast forward to the twins pregnancy; I had just found out the babies were boys and I knew the circ topic was going to come up again. I decided to do my research because I was going to prove Dave wrong. I wanted some good solid evidence to prove why circumcision was necessary. But instead I found my mind getting changed pretty quickly. The more I read, the more I was convinced that I did NOT want to circ the boys. I also became very relieved that my feelings about The Nacho being a girl were true; I hate to think what I would have done had I been wrong and never did any research.

I think that the decision to circumcise or not is a decision all future parents should make. Just because I decided not to circ my boys doesn’t mean I think people that do circ are wrong, it was their decision and it doesn’t matter to me at all. I do wish more people looked into WHY they are cutting off a part of their son instead of just doing it, but it is what it is. I am quite proud of Dave and I for doing our research and making an informed decision. A few people that I talked to, when they seemed so appalled that we were leaving our boys intact and asked us why we weren’t going to circ, I turned the question around on them and ask why we should circ. And every single time, the answer I got was “because, that’s what you do.” Well, sorry, that’s not a good enough reason for me. I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to convince my children to be their own person, to not follow the crowd, to not cave to peer pressure. Haven’t we all head the phrase “If all your friends jump off a cliff, are you going to jump too?” Well, let’s just say to me, circumcision is the cliff, and I am not jumping just because everyone else did. The second response I usually get after that is, well he’s going to be the only one in the locker room, he’s going to get made fun of. To that I say, no, he is not going to be the only one, see bullet point number 6 below. And I am going to tell the boys that if someone tries to make fun of them for being intact to turn the tables on that person and ask him why he was looking so closely at another man’s penis. That should stop any mocking in its tracks.

Ok, on to the information I found online. The first thing I came across when I starting my research was a list of bullet points called the top 10 reasons not to circumcise your son. I have made a few comments on some of these points.

1. The foreskin is healthy tissue which would be the size of a postcard in an adult man. There are nerves in the foreskin which are NOT in the head of the penis and which only exist in the lips and fingertips.

2. The foreskin rarely becomes diseased and only requires circumcision in cases of cancer, gangrene, etc., like any other body part. And if a man should get a yeast or bacterial infection, as women routinely do at much greater rates, they can be easily treated with creams or medicine, as women are.

•No major medical group recommends or endorses routine infant circumcision. Not the AAP, not the AMA, none of them

-- Circumcision is not recommended by any national medical association in the world. Fifteen national and international medical associations have extensively studied infant circumcision and its effects and found no significant evidence to support this practice. In March 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) concluded that infant circumcision is not recommended as a routine procedure. The circumcision policy statements of the American Medical Association (AMA) and the American Academy of Family Physicians have concurred with this position. The AMA calls infant circumcision “non-therapeutic.” (http://www.nocircpa.org/4642.html)

•More and more research is showing that circumcision does NOT prevent things such as prostate cancer, AIDS, STDs, etc… I mean think about it, how can a little flap of skin at the tip of the penis cause cancer of the prostate, an organ inside the body? Just doesn’t make sense.

3. A baby's foreskin is easy to care for as it is adhered to the head of the penis with the same tissue that adheres your fingernails to your fingertips. You do not have to pull it back to clean it, and to do so causes scarring and damage. You simply wipe it off like a finger. When the foreskin naturally retracts (anytime between age 3 and puberty), the boy only has to swish it in the water to clean it. I don't know about you, but every boy I know has no problem getting that penis EXTRA-clean in the shower or bath!

•One again, if they are intact DO NOT RETRACT! Wipe the penis the way you would a finger and that’s that. Cleaning my boys has been WAY easier than it was/is cleaning The Nacho.

•Penises are self-cleaning and have been for hundreds of thousands of years. Urine is sterile, and the interior of the penis is washed at each urination. The other secretions are are moisturizers and the body's first-line of protection against pathogens. Its appearance, just as it [is] in females, is no cause for alarm.

•Many cases of UTI and other irritations and infections can be traced directly to genital tampering, not to failure of hygiene.

•The notion that boys need aggressive cleaning is an invented one, which dates to the 1870's and was part of an advertising campaign for circumcision. The notion does not exist outside the influence of Anglo-American medicine.

•I read somewhere that the myth of retracting the foreskin to clean was based on the masturbation paranoia: “Especially widely publicized was the notion that a build-up of smegma, a protective secretion both boys' and girls' genitalia naturally produce, might cause unwanted stimulation, then termed 'irritation'. This stimulation might draw a child's attention to his penis (or her clitoris)—so goes the theory—which he or she might then touch. Even casual genital exploration by the child was thought to cause tuberculosis, insanity, blindness, idiocy, hip malformation, unusual hair growth, and dozens of other conditions.2 As late as the 1930s, some doctors advised parents to tie scratchy muslin bags, especially made for the purpose, on the hands of boys and girls, to prevent even inadvertent genital contact during sleep. Parents were also advised to retract their boy's foreskin and scrub out any 'dangerous' secretions regularly, or have the boy circumcised so these could not possibly accumulate. Throughout the 20th century in all English-speaking countries, forced retraction for genital cleaning became standard medical practice. Millions of living, intact Anglo men, it is safe to say, were forcibly—and painfully—retracted as children.”

4. Routine infant circumcision was started in this country in victorian times as a way to prevent masturbation. Dr. Kellogg, the main proponent, knew and said that circumcision removed the most sensitive part of the penis.

•The more I researched this point the more disturbed I became.

5. An intact penis provides more pleasure for a woman b/c of the gentle gliding motion which both keeps the woman's natural lubrication in the vagina and prevents chafing.

•Although I don’t really want to think of my infants as sexual beings, it is a fact of life. One day they will grow up, and one day they will be sexually active. I’m only thinking about this point a little bit, and then I’m moving on. My boys, and their future wives can thank me later.

6. Only half of boys born today in the US are circumcised. This has dropped from a high of 85% one generation ago, and continues to drop. Worldwide, only 15% of men are circumcised, and those are all Jewish and Muslim. A boy is as likely to be made fun of for being circumcised as for being intact. Your husband's experience in the locker room is inapplicable 30 years later. In addition, with all of this information readily available on the internet, as your son grows, he will definitely know the difference and it won't be just rumor as it was for our generation.

•Here is a great map that shows the circ rates in the US: http://mgmbill.org/statistics.htm You will notice in Texas only 26-50% of the male population is circumcised.

•Here is a map that shows the circ rate across the globe. http://fullmoonsdaughter.com/blog/2010/05/who-still-cuts-penises You will notice that the only country that circs more than us is Nigeria. Wow!

7. Most circumcisions are performed without adequate anesthesia (even a nerve block doesn't get the vagus nerve.) Sugar water definitely doesn't dull the pain. Newborns are proven to feel pain more acutely than adults b/c of their nervous system immaturity.

•I saw a really funny blunt card once about this. But of course now that I am looking for it, I can’t find it. If I ever come across it again, I will post it.

8. The selling of foreskins from circumcision is big business. They are made into face creams. Is that where you want your son's body part to go?

•Ummmm, GROSS!

•* Cosmetics: Foreskins are used to make high-end skin creams. The skin products contain fibroblasts grown on the foreskin and harvested from it. One foreskin can be used for decades to produce fancy face cream like the SkinMedica products hawked on Oprah.

* Skin grafts: In addition to making products for skin, a baby’s foreskin can be turned into a skin graft for a burn victim. Because the cells are extremely flexible, they’re less likely to be rejected. Currently, this technology can be lifesaving in providing a real skin “band aid” to cover an open wound while a burn victim heals. Researchers at Harvard and Tufts are working on advanced skin replacements that use human foreskins.

* Cosmetic testing: All those cruelty-free cosmetics you buy? Some of them are tested on foreskins. This yields better results, since they’re human skin. And it saves the lives of the rodents your shampoo would otherwise be tested on.

9. The New Testament specifically says that Christians are not supposed to be circumcised. See Galatians 5:6. In short, circumcision was the old covenant and Jesus the new covenant. There are even Jews who reject circumcision.

•Here is a great site that goes into good detail about being a Christian and circumcising: http://www.drmomma.org/2009/06/information-on-circumcision-for.html This is actually a really good website period. Lots of good circ info on here. It was probably one of my main go to sites when doing my research.

10. There are no other cosmetic surgeries that parents are permitted to perform on their children without the child's consent. If the child grows to maturity and still wants to be circumcised, he can then have it done, and b/c his penis is fully grown, the doctor will be able to tell how much to remove and the man will have adequate pain relief during and after. Though the parents may have aesthetic preferences, the child may not share them. (Do you listen to your parents' music or wear your hair like theirs?)

Here are a few more resources I relied on when trying to make my decision. First, here is a really good video called Circumcision: An Elephant in the Hospital. When I say it’s a really good video, I mean it is a REALLY GOOD VIDEO. Go watch it.

Here are a few more websites that I found really helpful.

* I know I already posted this one in a comment on bullet number 9, but it a really good site called peaceful parenting: http://www.drmomma.org/

* Intact America: http://www.intactamerica.org/

* The Whole Network: http://www.thewholenetwork.org/

* Some random blog I came across: http://www.jobdescriptionmommy.com/job-description-mommy/2012/04/invaluable-circumcision-resources.html

And one last time, for good measure. IF INTACT, DON'T RETRACT! If I find out you chose to disregard that piece of information and forcibly retract one of my son’s foreskin, you can be guarantee you will not be allowed to touch any of my children ever again. (Sorry, a little tense about this because I have already had one person say to me, “I don’t know about that, I just don’t see how that’s sanitary.” So I am very on edge about this person hurting my child because they apparently know everything there is to know about caring for an intact male and the rest of us are wrong so they are going to go ahead an retract the foreskin against my wishes.)

Finish Line

I know I haven't posted since the boys were born. So sorry, but I've been busy.

At about 5:00 today a journey hat started 996 days ago came to an end. My family is complete and everyone is home. As I sit here on my couch with all three of my children sitting (or sleeping) a few feet from me I have to pinch myself; it all feels so surreal. During the short drive home my mind was going a mile a minute, reliving all the events from the past several years. I just can't believe that something I have been dreaming about for the past 2 years and 8 months has finally happened. I can't believe it is all over and now a new journey, our adventures as a family of 5, begins. And of course, this new journey was kicked off with a song. Just like this song was played for me by my dad, and I played it for the Nacho when we brought her home, and I played when I knew my nephews were on their way home, I played it for Mork and Weiner (the Nacho's names for them) as we drove home.

Instead of rewriting the story behind the song, I am just going to copy and paste from Reid's blog.

"June 2002
After I am discharged from the Navy (honorably, thank.you.very.much!) instead of getting on an airplane and going home to boring way, my parents and sister decide to drive out to Washington D.C. to pick me up, and we make a vacation out of it. We spent a few days touring D.C., then spent another few camping and white water rafting a few different rivers. After our last river, once camp was packed up for the last time my dad turned to me and asked if we were on our way home, and after I told him yes, he had to ask one more time, Are we officially heading home, no more stops?” Then he said, “Then this is for you.” And he turned on the radio and played Don Henley’s Taking You Home, which of course made me cry.

August 5, 2009
It’s the day we are coming home from the hospital with Mackinley. It had been a long, emotional week, and I was so thankful to be going home at all. I had downloaded a special song to play for Mackinley on the way home but realized I had sent my ipod home with Dave during an earlier trip. So I had to quickly find and download it on my iphone as we were pulling away from the hospital (thank goodness for technology!) so I could play Don Henley’s Taking You Home for Mackinley, and of course I cried.

September 22, 2010
It has been a very exhausting 10 days. People always take for granted that you go to a hospital, have a baby, and bring that baby home. Unfortunately for my family we have realized that it doesn’t always work that way. Thankfully we have a little miracle on our hands! I feel blessed that I have been able to witness that miracle. I am so grateful to have Reid as part of my life. I think he is going to do amazing things with his life and I am glad I will be able to see them.
Reid, I want you to know that your Aunt Janelle loves you very much! Thank you for being such a fighter. Thank you for giving us the chance to get to know you. Thank you for reminding us about what is important in our lives. Thank you for reminding us to cherish every millisecond with our family. And although I was not there are you were coming home today, I was thinking about you often. I know you have made this one of the happiest days of your mommy and daddy’s life. So Reid, I dedicate this song to you. And yes, it will make me cry."

And now I have to add today to that timeline.

April 23, 2012
Today is a day I have been dreaming of for over 2 years. Its the day the answers to my prayers are coming home. These are babies I never thought I would have. But thanks to the amazing gift of an amazing woman these 2 sweet babies are mine. After making a slightly early entrance into the world and spending 17 days in the hospital today my miracle boys are coming home. So of course I played Don Henley's Taking You Home, and of course I cried like a baby.

I had a good life
before you came
I had my friends and my freedom
I had my name

Still there was sorrow and emptiness
till you made me glad
oh and this love
i found strength
never knew i had

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand
I’m taking you home
Taking you home

There were days, lonely days
When the world
Wouldn’t throw me a crumb
But I kept on believing
That this day would come

And this love
Is like nothing like i have ever known baby
Take my hand
I’m taking you home
I’m taking you home
Where we can be with the ones who really care
Home
Where we can throw together
Keep you in my heart forever

Oh and this love
Is like nothing i have ever known
Take my hand
Taking you home
Taking you home

Yes I am

Ever since the Nacho started watching some Bible story videos she has been asking for her own cross. She says she wants one so she can be like mommy and Jesus. And how can I deny her a cross so she can be like Jesus?!?!? So I went to Mardel today (and never even stepped foot in the teacher section. WHAT?!?!?) to find a cross to put in the Nacho's Easter basket. I find a very sweet, simple child's necklace that was perfect (meaning not too expensive so when my 2 year old breaks it I won't freak out.) and decide I would like to get her a cross to hang on the wall as well. I am wandering around the store trying to find one that I like and realize that everywhere I turn I am seeing quotes and sayings and verses surrounding me. All the things that were told to me by people trying to help me stay positive these last 2 and a half years. All the saying I said to myself over and over and over these last 2 years. All of the saying that I read and just feel the truth in the words deep down in my soul. All the words that were my saving grace since this journey began. (These are just the ones I remember seeing while I was there today.) I just got so overwhelmed with emotion as I was standing there, literally just turning in circles trying to take it all in, truly believing.

"Prayer Changes Things"

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation" Psalm 62:5-1

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" Psalm 62:8

"May your unfailing love be my comfort" Psalm 119:76

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. He is my fortress, I will not be shaken." Jeremiah 29:11

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

"Believe"

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Everything is possible for him who believes." Mark 9:23

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

And of course my favorite
"Amazing Love"

31 Weeks and 3 Days

Baby boys are looking great and L is feeling good, well, as good as you can feel when you are almost 32 weeks pregnant with twins. I must say, she grows babies very well. Baby A is measuring 4 pounds 1 ounce and Baby B is measuring 4 pounds even. At our appointment several weeks ago the doc said they were in the 75th percentile for a singleton. Not sure where we fall on the scale today.

In case you are wondering, this is what almost 32 weeks with twins looks like.


Baby B is usually the stubborn baby that doesn't want to get his picture taken. I have very few good shots of him, but today, during our perinatologist ultrasound her was very cooperative and we got a great shot. He looks like such a little baby now instead of an alien.


L tried to surprise us with a 3D ultrasound today, but during the walk from the peri's office to the OB's office the babies turned around and became very stubborn, so we had a difficult time getting a good shot. I think everyone else was a little disappointed but I was thrilled. I have watched the DVD 3 times now in awe. We are going to try again on the 30th, and I can't wait to get another good peek at my boys.

Look at those cheeks, and those lips. Just makes me swoon!

Our peri appointment ran a little long because the office was so behind, so my mom, in an effort to kill some time, took the Nacho to the newborn nursery, and apparently the Nacho was quite smitten and enthralled with the new babies. I wish I could have seen it. She was so impressed by it, when Dave got there she had to take him and show him the babies too. Love that kid!

Little Miss Attitude

A few months ago a good friend of mine found the PERFECT shirt for the Nacho. Since it was nice and warm I had her wear her new shirt today and wanted to get a picture. First she posed so nicely in exchange for a pop-o-sicle.



But after that the attitude came out. First she was showing me how she likes to "move it, move it."


And then she remembered that mommy had bribed her with a Popsicle and had not made good on said bribe, so the sassy attitude came out.






Man I love that kid!

365 Days

First, a disclaimer: In this post I mention several different people who offered to be our surrogate but for one very valid reason or another it just didn’t work out. I hold no hard feelings towards any of these people and I never had. This post is not meant to call those people out or anything like that, I just want to try and document every single step of this journey, and this is a very important part of it.

One year ago today I got the email from our first surro telling us she just couldn’t do it.

*Well, technically she was our second, my sister was our first, but she was the first one we had actually started moving forward with. With my sister it was all just talk, but we never made it beyond that. With J, Dave and I had our first consult with Dr. C, J met with her doc and had a phone consult with Dr. C, Dave went and gave his sample, we were actually moving forward.

I remember that day so vividly as if it had happened yesterday. We were at my grandmother’s house cleaning it out when J texted me and told me I needed to check my email. I knew she had started having some concerns and had been doing some serious thinking, praying, and discussing with her family and doctor. So when she told me to check my email I knew what it was, and I already knew it was going to be bad news. I had been trying to prepare myself for it, but I don’t think I did a very good job. I was back in grandmother’s bedroom and I sat on her bed to read the email when my mom walked in followed shortly by my sister. We all just sat there in silence for a few minutes before I broke down. At that exact moment I felt like that was it, we were at the end of the road, I was never going to get my baby. My mom and sister tried to be so optimistic for me, Jennifer even offering her services again. Dave wasn’t there that day, so then I had to call him and tell him, which caused me to break down again.

I wasn’t angry or upset with J at all. I totally understood. Her reasons made so much sense. Even her doctor couldn’t support her decision to do this. And I don’t know if Dave and I would have been comfortable going with J had decided to do it. But it still hurt to lose her. It wasn’t so much the fact that we were losing a surrogate, it was losing HER, losing J, which sucked. She was who we wanted, I had grown so attached to the idea of her being our surro I had to mourn the loss of her as if we had just lost a baby. I am sure I was a pretty unpleasant person to be around for a few weeks.

After losing J we had a few other people that came forward and offered. One of which we got very close to starting to move forward again with when we lost her. I was ready to give up. The roller coaster ride was almost too much to handle sometimes. We even started the process of becoming foster parent (of course, we were denied because we both work outside the home.) I started doing some research into adoption agencies, but I could never make myself do more than request info online, I couldn’t ever make a phone call to any of the agencies. I knew that starting the adoption process would mean the end of my surrogacy dream, and I just wasn’t quite ready to let the dream go. I wasn’t sure how we were going to make that dream come true, but I still wasn’t ready for it to end. Dave kept saying we needed to call Dr. C and see if he knew anyone, but I kept poo-pooing that idea. Thankfully he didn’t listen to me and called Dr. C and that’s how we found the wonderful Gayla who then put us in contact with our amazing L.

Looking back on everything that has happened and now I get it, I see why these things happened. J has had all kinds of changes happen in her life in the past year that would have made things even more complex and difficult if she were pregnant with our twins right now. And I see His reasons for not letting it work out with several of the other women as well. L was the person meant for this job. She has been the perfect person for it. She is the best baby cooker. I can’t imagine anyone doing a better job than she is. I can’t imagine any other person carrying our boys for us. She.is.perfect.

I look at how low I was one year ago. Look at how close I was to giving up (thank you Dave for not letting me!) Now look at where we are. Look how far we have come. Look at those 2 sweet boys growing away in the perfect womb. From the struggle to find our perfect surrogate to the roller coaster of getting some eggs from me and getting her knocked up. And let’s not forget the emotion filled day where L calls and says she is bleeding so we rush in thinking we were losing the pregnancy only to find triplets. It has been quite a journey and in just 10 or so more weeks this journey will come to a very happy end. I can’t believe how close we are!


To J- I want you to know how very much I love you. I am honored that you would have even considered being our surrogate. I know you wanted it as much as I did. I know it was a heartbreaking decision that you had to make. I never, ever, ever felt any negative feelings toward you at all. I will always think of you with very fond memories and I can’t wait for my boys to meet you!

Trust No One!

About a month ago my asst. principal calls me during the middle of class and says “find a sub for February 24th, I am sending you to a training. I’ll explain more later.” So I said ok, hung up, and got back to teaching. I then started searching high and low for a sub, but all my usuals were already committed, so I thought it must be a pretty popular training. I finally found someone AWESOME (shout-out SS) got her put into the system, and forgot about it. Until last weekend when I realized the training was coming up and I had no idea what it was about, what time it stated, what building it was in. I knew nothing other than it was on the 24th. So on Monday morning I sent an email to my AP asking for more specifics, and I never heard back from her. Not even so much as a, I’ll get back to you later. Just radio silence.
That annoyed me to no end. I came home about mid-week complaining to Dave that I was still clueless about my training on Friday. I told him that I knew she had seen my email because any message sent within GISD shows a timestamp of when it was opened. I also looked on Oracle and couldn’t find any trainings listed for the 24th and so I was starting to worry that I had misheard and really it was the 23rd because there were lots of classes listed for that day. Dave just kept defending her and defending her and finally said that maybe I would just end up with a free day off.
Thursday morning on my drive into work my mom tells me she knows what my training is because she was sending several of her teachers to it as well. I took that time to whine a little more about my APs sealed lips and how frustrated it was making me. I got to work that morning and sent yet another email asking for some details. Finally, near the end of the day I heard back from her and all it said was 8:30 at the PDC; still no idea what I was learning about. Oh well, I just decided to go with the flow. I got my sub plans all ready to go, threw the spiral I take with my to all staff developments into my car so I could take some good notes like I was told to do, and was just excited about the prospect of getting to sleep a few extra minutes later than normal.
That night at dinner Dave and I were talking about the twins and about how life was about to change and this is pretty much the transcript of the conversation we had:
D: I think we need to get away one last time before the boys get here.
J: Ok. We can go camping! (side note- we are going camping over spring break.)
D: What about a weekend in Fredericksburg?
J: (paying more attention to the Nacho and her cuteness than our conversation) Ok.
D: We could stay in a B&B.
J: Sure. I’ve always wanted to go there.
D: Ok good. We are going this weekend.
J: huh?
D: Your mom is taking the Nacho for the weekend.
J: huh?
D: You don’t actually have a training tomorrow.
J: huh?
D: We are leaving in the morning after my conference call. Driving down, staying at the Magnolia House, and having an awesome weekend.
J: huh?

Slowly, the pieces started to all fit together. I think I was so confused and then stunned that I don’t think I ever properly responded with excitement to him, but trust me, I was excited! It took me a while to finally figure out that everyone was in on it and I was the only clueless one. I think I had to ask a few times “are you sure there is not training tomorrow???”
Yep, my mom and my AP were in on it the whole time. I am surrounded my sneaks! And I am so glad I am. It was a wonderful surprise and it has been a wonderfully awesome and relaxing weekend. I’m sure it is the last of its kind for a long, long time. Granted the weekends we are going to have from this point forward are going to be awesome for a whole slew of different reasons (well, for 3 pretty awesome reasons!) Its been nice to have one last grown up getaway.

Name Explaination

So some people are quite upset that we are keeping the names a secret. I mean there are people that have gotten mad and yelled at me in emails about it, it's pretty ridiculous. My favorite was from a woman that was a complete stranger (we were only friends in order to be FV neighbors) who called me stupid and selfish. Yeah, she's not on my friend list anymore. So I just want to take a second and explain why we are not sharing the names until the babies are born in hopes that people might be a little more tolerant if they understand where I am coming from.

But before I begin, I need to say that I am 1000% grateful for all the love and support and prayers we have gotten from everyone throughout this process. We would not be where we are (and still be sane) if it wasn't for everyones support. I have been hesitant to explain myself earlier because I didn't want people to think I was being ungrateful, because that couldn't be further from the truth.

When we found out we were pregnant with the Nacho, it was almost exactly 2 months until our wedding. We didn't tell anyone, I mean anyone, not even my mom. It was our little secret until the day we got home from the honeymoon. It was kind of fun to have that little thing between us, something that was just ours, for a little while. And then after we told, I still had those times with the Nacho that it was just she and I. Lying in bed at night feeling her move, or in the shower looking at my growing belly - I loved those moments when it was just she and I. I knew that soon enough I would be sharing her with the rest of the world. Plus, with the Nacho we didn't find out the gender, so we got to have a little surprise in the delivery room. (oh who am I kidding, we got more than a little surprise in the delivery room. We got "It's a girl!" followed by "It's a hysterectomy!" Good times, good times.)

This time around I don't have any of that. I haven't had a single private moment. Everyone has known what was going on from the second we started looking for a surrogate. And again, I have been so thankful for that, I needed that support, and I still do. But I also wanted something that was just ours for at least a little while. I don't get to have any quiet alone moments with the boys. I didn't get to have any moments with my husband where we just gave each other that look that said we were both in on something. We won't get a surprise in the delivery room of finding out if they are boys or girls. So if wanting to keep the names to ourselves makes me selfish, if that makes me sound ungrateful, then so be it.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Mommy's Tummy

We have been talking to the Nacho about her baby brothers and how they are in Ms L's tummy. So she will often tell us that she has baby brothers and that they are in Ms. L's tummy, but I don't think she really understand much beyond that. Well tonight at dinner when a Jimmy Buffett song came on she said "I like this music!" I told her she went to her very first JB concert when she was in my tummy. And she said that her baby brothers were now in mommy's tummy. I reminded her that no, mommy's tummy was broken, so her brothers were in Ms. L's tummy. There was a little more conversation about mommy's broken tummy, and she kept lifting my shirt to look at it before she asked me if I wanted a hug. Of course I said YES! So she climbed in my lap and gave me a big bear hug and several kisses, which of course put a giant smile on my face. I told her that she made mommy so very happy. The Nacho then looked me in the eye and asked, "Is your tummy all better now?"


No baby, its not, but my heart sure is!!!!!


And, because she is so flipping cute, here is a little video of the Nacho explaining about humpty dumpty.

She popped!

I saw L 2 Friday's ago at our last peri appointment and she was looking pregnant but not hugely so. Then this past Friday we met for dinner and holy smokes, she has popped majorly!! It is crazy how much she has changed in 7 short days. I just kept staring at her in disbelief. I kept having to tell myself those were MY babies in there. MY BABIES!!!! Unreal! L is going to let me take a picture when I see her this Friday at our appt, that way I can stare at that beautiful belly whenever I want.

Some People

Ohmygosh! I can't believe I forgot to tell you this story!

It was at our appointment a few days before Christmas. We were sitting in the waiting room at Dr. R's office waiting to be called back for our appointment. There was another woman, who we shall call Mrs. Crazy, waiting on her sister who was back for her appointment. Somehow we ended up in a conversation that started being about getting induced. Mrs. Crazy's sister was apparently being pressured to be induced since it was close to the holidays. At first we went along with the conversation, commenting about yeah, some doctors try to do that for their convenience or for the patient's convenience. This went on for a few minutes and then Mrs. Crazy started in on how L could deliver these babies naturally, she didn't need an epidural. She's a woman, her body was built to do this. Mrs. Crazy had had 800 natural deliveries, most of which were at home. Well, maybe not 800, but I don't remember the exact number. She then told L that the doctors were going to try and scare her and get her to have all kind of medical interventions that she didn't need because again, she is a oman her was built for this. She just kept going on and on and on and on. I don't think she got the clue to shut up when we kind of started ignoring her and not responding other than a meek nod of the head. What I really wanted to say, and now wish I HAD said was something along the lines of, "We don't need the doctors to scare us, we know full and well about all the things that can go wrong. I know she could bleed out and need a hysterectomy, because it happened to me. I know the babies could have complications that result in us planning a funeral during their first few days of life because it happened to my nephew. I know all about it, don't need any doctor to scare me. Had either my sister or I delivered at home we would be dead, so there is no way in HELL L is going to have MY babies at home. Plus, if she wants to have an epidural or any other kind of help while she tries to deliver these babies, the babies she is selflessly carrying for us, then she can have all the drugs she wants. So more power to you and your med free, doctor free, easy births. But maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself because you don't know everyone's story. Not everyone is as lucky as you."


But instead I just sat there listening to her drone on and on, and just prayed we would be called back soon. But even as we were walking through the door for our appointment she calls out to L, you can do it, you were made for this.

Names

Yes, we have names picked out.


No, we are not telling.


















Nope, not even you.


















No, not you either, your embroidery/custom whatever can wait.




No point in trying to pester me about it, unless your goal is to piss me off.

December 8th Appointment

Yes, yes, yes, I know I am behind and need to get you caught up. So sorry, life is busy. I'll try to get updates from the previous 2 appointments done today, starting with the appointment we had at 17 weeks 2 days.

For the basics, both babies looked good, and both babies were still boys. Everything with L is also looking good. Her BP is good, she feels good, everything is great. Both babies were measuring 17 weeks 4 days and were weight 8 oz each. We've got one whole pound of baby now!! Baby A had a heart rate of 153 and Baby B's was 136, which is pretty close to their HR at the last appointment.


The ultrasonographer looked at all the important parts and everything looks good on both babies. The both had beautiful hearts with 4 chambers, their brains looked good, no sign of a cleft lip or palate, femur measuring good, could see the stomachs, kidneys, and bladders. I then heard the u/s tech say she was looking at the cord insertions. I asked her if they were inserted into the correct place on the placentas. She said that wasn't what she was looking at, she was checking where they cords inserted into the babies. (and it looked good. No sign of an omphalocele.)

So when Dr. G came in, she confirmed everything the u/s tech already told us; that everything looked great. I then asked her about the cord insertion and if they could tell where they were inserted into the placenta.  After we discussed why I had a concern, she pulled out the ultrasound machine again, and explained everything to me and made sure I understood and felt comfortable with our babies cords. But as she is doing it, as she is using the same machine we had used at every appointment, as she just flipped a switch and turned on the color, I had to fight to not lose it. It was that simple, just the flip of a switch. That's all it took to check their cords. That's all if would have taken for Reid, the flip of a switch. I even said that exact thing to Dr. G, and her response was the same response we have heard from every other doctor we have talked to. The doctor we are seeing right now is a perinatologist, the high risk doctor. They have, as Dr. G called them, the Cadillac of ultrasound machines. Most regular OBs do not have a machine that fancy; meaning most don't have the switch to flip, don't have the color doppler. And most women only go see the perinatologist once during their pregnancy, for the NT scan, and then its too early to detect a velamentous cord. Basically, it all boils down to money. The chance of woman having a VC is low, the fancy machines cost too much, a regular OB isn't going to spend that kind of money to try and diagnose something that occurs in 1.1% of pregnancies. But what about the .9%, what about those babies? Do we just write them off? Do we just say, oh well, your not worth the money? It just makes me angry. To see how easily Reid's dramatic birth could have been prevented. All they had to do was flip a freaking switch!

Dr. G did tell me it was ok to cross velamentous cords and vasa previa off my list of worries. And I told her I would do so happily!

Polish Santa

Its an O family tradition to read Polish Santa every year. Its just noy Christmas without it. Aunt Ce-Ce does it best; as the perfect polak accent, but since we now get together with her sometime after the holidays, my sister gave it a shot. And I must say she gave it a valiant effort, very valiant effort. . .

Da Night Before Christmas in Poland

'Twas the night before Christmas 

In my Polish house
I creeped down da stairs 

As quiet as mouse.

Da rest of my family

Dey is asleep
With visions of mushrooms 

Through der heads creep.

Da work shoes are hung 

By da chimney with care
In hopes that St. Stash 

Hill fill them dere.

While over in corner 

Is silly to see
Kielbasa and cabbages 

Hanging from tree.

Den dere's dis bang

Da house starts to shudder,
Some nut lands on roof

And breaks da rain gutter.

He starts down da chimney

Swears cuz it's tight.
I hide behind beer cases

Way out of sight.

He lands in the fireplace –

Scorching his hair
On da busted up orange crate

Still burning dere.

He climbs out - I peak

And get a good look
He just like picture

In my Polish book.

He got vodka glazed eyes

And stomach like bubble,
A five-day beard –

There's soot on the subble.

Dis Polish Santa

I know without fear
Cuz he heads for da kitchen

And opens a beer.

He's lost all da buttons

Off his old mackinaw
And wears da biggest tennis shoes

I ever saw.

He finished a six pack

And gives a big smirk,
Reaches in potato sack

And then goes to work.

Now under da tree

He starts to set
Da most beautiful presents

A Polak can get.

There's a new mushroom basket

And shovel for brother,
A bright red babushka

And a pick axe for mother.

I must see him leave

So I rushes outside
And looks up da roof

While in bushes I hide.

And what do I see

Through da twigs
But this old wooden garbage cart

Pulled by eight pigs.

Polish Santa jumps in

And gives them all hell,
"Come on youse pigs

Don't just stand there and smell.

On Stella, On Walter,

On Stanley, and Joe,
And all youse others

Who names I don't know.

Fly over da junk yard

And stay out of sight
Must visit all peoples

Before I get tight."

Then I hear him say

As he flew over me -
"I'm da only Polak
That gives things for free."

The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Up tomorrow, Polish Santa. I promise, you don't want to miss it!

Christmas 25 Questions

Yes, I need to update about our last OB appointment, and today's appointment. Maybe tomorrow.
For now . . .

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I prefer wrapping paper (unless it’s an awkward item) because I know people prefer unwrapping a wrapped gift. But gift bags are SO much easier. So at the very beginning of the season it is all wrapping paper, but when I look at all I have left to wrap and realize Christmas is in a few days, things start going in bags.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. I love the smell of a real tree, but not the hassle or mess of one. Plus, I am too scared of a fire. Call me Miss Worry-wart

3. When do you put up the tree? If I had it my way, I would put my tree up the day after Halloween. The holiday season goes by so quickly, and half the time I feel like I don’t have time to enjoy it all. But, my husband won’t let it go up until after Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down? I procrastinate as long as possible. But I do my best to get everything down and put away before I go back to work.

5. Do you like eggnog? Love it! I excitedly tried some eggnog coffee and creamer the other day (it was just okay) and baked some eggnog pound cake. Because, I LOVE eggnog!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I always got awesome gifts, it’s hard to pick one favorite. Every year was something else awesome. My parents rocked! Some things that really stand out to me are my Strawberry Shortcake dollhouse, my Cabbage Patch Kid, my bicycle, tv, and my stereo

7. Do you have a nativity scene? I do. I have gone through several different ones and finally have a set that I just love! The Nacho also has a Little People Nativity set.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My brother-in-law Will. I am sure he is tired of getting golf balls from me every year.

9. Easiest person to buy for? My mom, my sister, and the Nacho

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Now that I have started sending cards, I mail them.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? pine cones. spray painted gold. with little bits of grass and leaves in the mix. Granted, that was actually a gift to my husband (who at the time was my new boyfriend) from my grandmother. I guess the worst gift that was given directly to me, was also from Grandmother; plastic and yarn woven place mats. Got a few each year for Christmas and my birthday until I had an entire set.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? oh gosh, there are so many. I love Charlie Brown Christmas and the Grinch (cartoon, not live action). Also love a Christmas Story and A Wonderful Life. Oh, and Claymation Christmas, Garfield Christmas, and the Peter, Paul, and Mary Christmas special. But I guess, if I had to pick only one, it would be The Bells of St. Mary’s. It just wouldn’t feel like the holidays if I don’t watch it at least once.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I usually pick up a few things here and there all throughout the year, but the official shopping for me starts bright and early on Black Friday.

14. Ever recycled a Christmas present? I have on occasion, but haven’t in quite a while. When we were kids, my mom would take all the junk her students would give her, sort everything out: the total crap to donate, the food, the good stuff she wanted to keep (mostly the homemade crafts) and then everything left went in a big box. The next year, when it was time to get gifts for our teachers, we would go to the box and pick something from there to regift.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Chex Mix! It is my main source of nutrition during the holidays. In fact, there is a tin of Chex Mix sitting next to me as we speak.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? White lights. 2 strands of solid and 1 strand of flashing

17. Favorite Christmas song? Oh gosh, this is just as hard to answer as the favorite movie question. There are so many. My favorite traditional Christmas song is the Boston Pops version of Sleigh Ride- and it has to be BLARING loud! My favorite “remix” is Straight No Chasers version of The 12 Days of Christmas. And my favorite “new” Christmas song is Glorious by Melissa Ethridge.

18. Least favorite: Santa Baby – ugh! Can’t stand it. why does everything have to become sexualized, geez, even Santa isn't safe. Plus Bruce Springsteen’s version of Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. The beginning is ok, but the end is like nails on a chalkboard to me, with all his fake laughing in the background. And then any Christmas song sung by the Beach Boys. It just doesn’t sound right to me.

19. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home. It helps that all my family live right here. We do have to travel either right before or right after to go see D’s side of the family. But I want my children to wake up in their beds at their house on Christmas morning.

20. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yep. But I’m not going to do it here, don’t want you to cheat. Now, don’t ask me to name the 7 dwarfs, because I don’t think I can.

21. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star, but I have yet to find one I like. I would really like to try one of the bow tree toppers, but I don’t think I am crafty enough to make it look good.

22. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning. Christmas Eve is NOT Christmas. Do you open your birthday presents the day before your birthday? Or do you have everyone bring your shower gifts over so you can open them the day before your baby shower? No, no you don’t.

23. Most annoying thing about this time of year? How PC it has become. It is Christmas. We are celebrating the birth of CHRIST! And how crazed and stressed people get about getting the best gifts and spending the most money, completely forgetting what Christmas is really about.

24. Favorite ornament, theme, or color? My tree is red and silver, my decor mostly falls into a Santa theme, and my favorite tree ornament is a ratty old plastic angel with “real” hair (meaning not painted on) that I have had for years and years; she’s practically bald now. I remember as a kid my dad would have to lift me up on his shoulders to get it high up on the tree (because she had to be flying) and now, I barely have to lift my arm to get her high up.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? For the Nacho and all my family to have a wonderful, relaxing, blessed, safe holiday. And, an ongoing gift would be for L’s pregnancy to continue to be smooth sailing with one big happy ending in May. Materialistically, I would like my dream diaper bag, and anything we have on the registry for the twins.

Prayers for a Friend Please

Yes, I know I never posted an update after our last appointment, and I was planning on doing that today, but then I realized we have another appointment tomorrow, so I will just doing a double update after that.

Instead I would like to ask everyone to say a quick little prayer for a dear friend of mine, let's call her Betty.

Last week Betty had her second IUI procedure. (for those of you going ????, the unscientific explanation is it's the turkey baster procedure. Stimulate her ovaries to produce a few more eggs than normal, when they are ready the doc takes her hubby's contribution and squirts it in.) Betty did her first IUI a month (or so) ago, and it was unsuccessful. So I am just praying and praying and praying that this time works.

I can't say I understand what Betty's infertility struggles have been like. I have no idea. From an infertile standpoint, I was lucky. We knew what was wrong with me; no baby oven. I didn't have to go through months of unsuccessful trying before moving on to IVF and a surrogate. I have no idea what it is like to get a negative pregnancy test month after month for several years. I can't even imagine the heartache. My journey has been completely different.

But I do think I understand some of the emotions, some of the fears she is going through. I know what its like to not be able to have a glass of wine and a little fun with my husband and end up pregnant. I know what it is like to hope and pray for something, never wanting to give up. I know how exhausting it is to keep going. I know what its like to think you couldn't possibly have any more tears left to cry. I know how scary it is. I know the fear of thinking it will never happen. I know what it is like to look at my beautiful, perfect child and ache to give him/her a sibling, a partner in crime. I know how painful it is to look at a new mom and her new baby. Or how difficult it is to hear the news that someone else is pregnant, especially when that someone is a teenager, has 8 bazillion kids they already can't afford, didn't want kids in the first place, etc... I can't totally relate with her on all of that, and more.

But I also know what it's like to see that positive pregnancy test. To see the baby on an ultrasound, to hear the heartbeat. I know how much sweeter it is going to be for her.

Betty already has one child, and she is an AMAZING mother; her husband is an amazing father. I can't think of 2 more deserving people. And I know their first child is going to be an amazing sibling. So please send up a prayer for them.

And Betty, you have been one of my biggest cheerleaders through all of this. You have prayed for me, offered me words of encouragement, have let me release all my worries onto you, and have just been there for me. I want you to know that I am now standing on your sideline with my pom poms, cheering you on!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The babies are . . .

Because we are pregnant with identicals we have an ultrasound every 2 weeks in order to watch for TTTS. At our NT scan on the 10th the peri made a guess about gender. Then, at our next appointment on Tuesday the doctor confirmed the gender. In fact he said there is no question about it we are having identical twin . . .

BOYS!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited and couldn't be happier. I'm a little nervous because I don't know how to be a boy mom, but I'll figure it out. I am just so excited because after the Nacho I thought I would never have another child and now I am going to have "one" of each! My cup runneth over.

Common Questions

The first thing people usually ask after they find out we are pregnant is “are you hoping for a girl or a boy?” (And, for those still confused, both babies will be the same gender. The term identical does not just refer to the face, but to everything.) My answer to the question is always an I truly, and honestly could not pick. Both genders have their own pros and cons.

Girl Pros:
I already have a girl. I know what it’s like to be a girl mom. Being a girl mom is awesome! I love the bows, and the tutus, and the frills, and the princess, and all that comes along with little girls. We also have a ton of girl stuff, so shopping/preparing would be a lot easier. And I could just picture my dream girl nursery - it would be beautiful. We also have girl names picked out and I love them so much. If these babies are not girls we will be getting 2 cats and naming then with our girl names. I also look at my sister and the relationship we have, and I want that for the Nacho. I want her to have a sister (well, sisters) to grow up with.
Girl Cons:
I worry that because the babies are identical twins, they will always have that extra “special” about them. I don’t want the Nacho to feel like she is not as special as her siblings. I feel like if the babies are boys, then she will be the only girl and will have her own “special” about her. I just don’t want her to feel like an outcast, and think it will be less if the babies are boys.

Boy Pros:
I already have a girl. I already know what it is like to be a girl mom. I already know what it looks like when we make a girl. What would it be like to have a boy? Plus, the girl I already have is pretty freaking awesome, there is no way any other girl could ever compete with that. Having a boy gives us “one” of each, what could be more perfect than that?
Boy Cons:
I know nothing about being a boy mom. And you can’t put a bow in a boys hair. And boy clothes are not nearly as cute as girl clothes – everything is covered in trains, sports, and puppies. I don’t have the best impression of a brother/sister relationship (sorry J, but you know its true.) I want the Nacho to have siblings that she is close to, that she can count on, that will be her partner(s) in crime for the rest of her life. Will she get that with brothers?
So either way I win. I just couldn’t choose, which is why I am glad its not up to me. God knows what he is doing, and He knows what’s best for me and my family, and I trust Him. I know whatever they are, its going to be AWESOME!

The second most frequently asked question I get is “how do you feel/does it bother you/what’s it like/etc?” And that’s a tricky question for me to answer, and I don’t know if it will make much sense, but I will try.
How do I feel about L being the one pregnant? I feel excited, happy, ecstatic, thrilled, grateful, and blessed. It does not bother me AT ALL that I am not the one that is pregnant with the twins. I don’t care how they get here, whether I carried them, L carried them, or the freaking stork dropped them at my doorstep. I just want my babies. What I care about is that we are having babies, and that everyone involved is happy and healthy. L was the person and was meant to do this job, she was the one that is supposed to be carrying these babies. We had a handful of other potential surrogates that fell through for one reason or another before we found L, and now I understand why. She was meant to do this and no one else.

I do still have a hard time accepting the fact that I will never be pregnant again. I loved being pregnant with the Nacho. Yes, I was uncomfortable and anxious to meet her near the end of the pregnancy, but I enjoyed being pregnant. It kills me to know that I will never be able to nurture another life, that I will never feel another baby move and kick inside me. I still get a little jealous to see a hugely pregnant woman. I know I have said it before, I just hope that once my family is complete that it no longer matters to me that I can’t get pregnant.

People also keep asking if I am going to stay home now, or if I will continue to work. Right now we are planning on me continuing to work. I think I am a better mom because I work. I know by the end of the summer I am dying to get back to work and get a break from the Nacho. I don’t think I am able to stimulate her as well as Primrose does. I can’t think up all the cute activities that day care does. Plus, she loves her friends and her teachers and going to school. She would miss it if we pulled her out. But if I stopped working, there is no way we could afford to keep her at Primrose. The plan is to have a nanny watch the twins and then have the Nacho at day care 3 days a week and at home with the nanny and twins 2 days a week. I am also going to apply and see if the Nacho gets accepted into the PPCD inclusion program with my district. If she does, then she will be in school 5 days a week and it is WAAAAAY more affordable than Primrose (about half the cost). So unless we just can’t find a nanny (live in or live out, doesn’t matter to us), I will continue to work. And if you know of anyone that would be a great nanny, send them my way.

10 Week Appointment

We had our first appointment with the OB after being released from the RE and we got another look at the babies. It was a great appointment! They actually look like babies now instead of blobs. And they look great; both are measuring 10 weeks 4 days with HRs of 174 and 179. One baby was waving and the other was just a dancing away. It was so cute! I could have sat there and watched all day long. The Nacho was always very calm in utero. She liked to stretch a lot but was not a mover and a shaker. So seeing the babies today wiggling away was awesome, I loved it! It seriously was the best day ever. Best! Day! Ever!

Daddy was not there, so I texted him the stats and a picture. I told him one was waving and one was dancing and he pointed out that one was him and the other was me, and it is so true! Dave is the waver of the family. He waves at EVERYTHING, dogs, cats, babies, people, statues, the tv, I mean everything. I always make fun of him for it. And I am, of course, the dancer. I dance in the car, I dance when I am eating yummy food (The Nacho does this too!), I dance when I am happy, I am just a goofy dancer. So it is already pretty obvious these babies are ours!

We met the doctor and his staff and I really liked everyone. The best part of the day came when the nurse said L and I were a perfect match, that we compliment each other well. I took that as a huge compliment! I did talk to the doctor about our history of eventful labor and deliveries. I didn't express myself very well though, got a little tongue tied, but he got the gist of it. I just hope he took me seriously. At the next appointment I might ask him to call and chat with Dr. Jordan, so he can get the full (and clear) history from him. The nurse said since it is twins, they will be looking closely at the cords and placentas with each ultrasound, so that makes me feel better. I will definitely request a color doppler ultrasound when we see the perinatologist for our anatomy scan in a few weeks.

Everything with L looked good too. She has been having some migraines, but the doctor didn't seem concerned, so that helped me relax a little. She said she thought she might be feeling some movement, but wasn't sure since it is still so early. I can't wait until I can feel it from the outside.

Our next appointment is on the 10th for the NT scan. I am hoping we might get a guess at the gender, but I am not going to hold my breath. Its funny because with the Nacho we were Team Green, and I wanted to not find out this time around either, but since its twins it makes more sense to find out. So since I know we are finding out I am so stinking impatient about it. I want to know NOW! But I might find out and then keep it a secret from everyone. That would be fun!